Ever heard the saying, "Getting long in the tooth"? In case you haven't, it means "getting old" and the saying comes from horses. You see, you can pull back the lips of a horse, have a gander, and determine its age.
For instance, I saw THE cutest little Red Roan mare (not this one - she was cuter - but just so you know what they look like) at the auction and pointed her out to Dan, who also liked her...until he looked at her teeth. She had these little itty bitty teeth, which meant she was only 2 or 3 years old and probably not ready for dudes...if people at all.
On the other hand, as most of our fellas are good, broke, dude-proof, child-donning horses, they are, as you might say, long in the tooth.
And when they get long in the tooth, they can get really sharp edges, or hooks, on them. Which in turn can cause ulcers - think of biting your cheek constantly. Which in turn can cause a horse to lose weight, because it hurts to eat!
So, our vet came out yesterday to float teeth. Never heard of it? Well, consider it your dental cleaning. Kinda. She basically grinds, or files, off the sharp hooks.
This is her tool kit. Notice the drill, eye protection, ear protection, needle, head lamp, and rag.
Her first patient of the day was Doc, so we'll follow his whole procedure.
First things first, horses are some of the worst dental patients, so they have to be drugged, intravenously.
It works pretty darn quickly. I'm not sure if Doc was just showing us that he was ready for his teeth to be fixed or what.
Let's have a closer look, shall we?
Hey guys? I can't feel my lips! Am I doing anything with my lips? My lips feel REALLY weird! I swear! I can't feel my lips!
The drugs put the horses into what Dan calls "the 5-point stance," the head being the fifth point. So this contraption helps them keep their heads up.
You can see it a little better here. They attach the rope to the top of the halter, throw the rope over the top of the gate, and then Donovan uses the pulley to keep Doc's head from sagging to the ground.
Next comes the spectrum, which will hold his mouth open, as well as cover his teeth with a metal plate so in the event he does close his mouth there's more surface area and less sharpness.
Here it is in his full glory. Don't you like his nice shiny smile? It's like he's got braces and headgear. Notice how his legs are all sprawled out? He's drunk. Aaaand stumbling.
Once he's all set up, it's time to rinse his mouth out with water. Horses will store wads of hay in their cheeks like chipmunks, so she uses a syringe to get all the leftovers out. Just a little bit larger than what they use on us, huh?
I think this picture is funny for so many reasons, but Donovan just looks so cooooool. If I was a better photographer, I think I'd send it to GQ, although I'm not sure what they'd think of Doc. Donovan just might be taking after his younger brother with a career in modeling.
Alright, back to business! The vet is having a look inside.
She determined that the loose molar Doc had the last time she inspected him fell out. And that, in fact, he had another loose molar. Which can cause pain if it wiggles when he eats.
Here, have a look for yourself.
Yeah, it's kinda hard to see anything.
Putting her nose, er, teeth to the grindstone, the vet started grinding away with her drill. And then she broke it, the drill, that is, not teeth. Or the battery died. Or something.
So she had to go back to the old fashioned way of doing things. Using a file and pushing and pulling to grind it down manually. Talk about hard work!
The good news is Oz, our new housekeeper, is a mechanical engineer. And after much inspection and tearing apart. Ok, so there really wasn't much tearing apart. He determined that her knob on the top was stuck between speeds. So once she chose a speed, she was back in business.
But before we go on, I want you to have an appreciation for the physical strength involved in floating a horse's teeth. Just look at how she has to brace herself! Not to be confused with Doc's wide-legged stance.
Finally, the vet has to make sure that the front teeth are filed down enough for the molars to make contact. Otherwise, the horse can rip the grass off, but can't chew it up.
Remember I mentioned that Doc lost the loose molar that she had seen last time and that he had a new loose molar? Well, she told Dan that he needed to get a dental specialist out here with the proper tools to pull it. Dan kindly explained to her that we did not have the funds for such a specialist and that it was either him or her.
She chose her.
And this was the outcome.
At the end of the day, this what they looked like. Still wobbling and hanging like old, drunken soldiers. But with an almost-brand-new set of teeth...not enough to disguise their age, though!
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