goats

Ok, so I was going to work backwards, but things happen so quickly around here, that I had to change order. And if you think you already know this story, scroll down so you can get the update!

We are jumping back to Friday, July 3rd.

Doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo. (That's what Wayne's World fingers, wavy screen thing, to go back in time.)

So, I had Friday off. I was getting ready to take a few days to visit my fam in Eastern Colorado and make the trek home to Florida. I was getting everything in order, which included a phone call to my roommate in Jax.

I was away from my room and on the phone with her 30 minutes, tops.

Then I came back, did some stuff, left for the Potbelly thinking that Friday night before the 4th would be hoppin'! Sadly we were wrong, but had a good time anyhow, getting home around 12:30.

Roo was already asleep so I didn't turn on the light when I got in. I just used the glow of my extraordinarily bright clock. I crawled into bed, exhausted.

As I was laying there, I noticed something smelled really bad. And I was thinking, "Aw, man! Did Irie get in here?" Irie is Wrangler Sarah's dog, who inevitably rolls in manure, goes swimming, and lays on any bed she can find.

Then, I remembered Ellen telling me that Selene had gotten into the girls dorm. A bad habit learned from Duff who allowed her into the boys dorm during a rainstorm.

Remember Selene? She's undeniably cute, but still annoying.

I thought, "Ugh! Maybe Selene was rained on and came in here and laid on my bed," because she'll often be found in the tack room laying on top of the pile of horse blankets.

Anyhow, as I laid there longer, I realized it smelled like urine. Yup, pee. Piss. Whatever disgusting word you want to use for it.

Remember I mentioned I was exhausted?

I just pushed the smelly pillow to the back, grabbed the other one, pushed my comforter over to the side, and skooched over to the non-smelly side of the bed and slept. Unpeacefully. I kept dreaming about asking people if they saw the dog or the goat in here.

In the morning, I woke up, pulled the covers back and sure enough! There was a big yellow stain right where my shoulders would have been!

As I started tearing my bed apart layer by layer, I found out Selene did most of her work on my down comforter and pillow. I had to get my comforter dry cleaned while I was gone and I just threw the pillow away because it had soaked through the pillow case, pillow cover, and pillow.

Now, my plan was to make a sign that said, "No goats allowed! Goats wet the bed!"

Until last night.

I heard Dan come running down the stairs screaming like a madman, but since I didn't hear anything else, I fell back to sleep immediately.

This morning, Selene was missing.

Dan was trying to scare the bear away.

But not soon enough.

Selene was missing this morning.

I felt awful.

The last thing I said to her last night was, "We're still not friends. You wet my bed!"

*Sigh*

But guess what!

They found her this evening!

She was a little worse for the wear, but she's still alive!

And we made friends again.

But she's still a bedwetter.